I have a cat..... don't ask

I have a cat.That is all I should have to say.

No more explanation why my friends stop by, but don't stay.

I do not need to tell you why I wear no panty hose,

why my house plants are dead, why my computer screen froze.

You already know, and do not need to check,

you just know I shower with no curtain, and my office is a wreck.

My clean towels will leave hair on your freshly washed mitts,

I have a big comfy armchair where no one dares and sits.

Don't wonder why my children only leave the room in pairs,

Don't worry why my kitchen floor crunches, cause no one here cares.

Don't expect me to hop right up if you call when Im reading in bed,

I've a cat on my lap, in my book, and one wrapped round my head.

All must be surgically removed with precision and grace,

and then promptly repositioned in an equally comfy space.

In this process there is almost no margin for err,

If I am quick I can escape, without them knowing to where.

So kid yourself not, thinking there's something left for me to explain,

in my life, there are cats, obviously I must be into pain.

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